You Know You Are a Horse Junkie When…

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1) It is 107 degrees with the heat index and yet you still put on your riding pants and black leather boots and give it a go.

2) You can count on two fingers the number of pedicures that you have ever had, yet your horse gets their hooves done every 5 weeks.

3) The equine family member also gets a set of very expensive shoes every five weeks along with their pedicure, but you have had the same pair of riding boots for the past 10 years.

4) Your horse has buttery soft leather bridles and halters, has a custom fitted leather saddle…you have “pleather” shoes and purses or you have a nice leather purse that you bought second hand on eBay.

5) The nutritional content of your horse’s feed is analyzed and scientifically calculated to increase performance.  You eat whatever you can find in the cabinet or whatever you can purchase from the fast food restaurant that happens to be on your way home.

6) Your tack is immaculate, stalls are cleaned on a daily basis, and water troughs scrubbed as soon as a little scum is noted.  In your own home, you can write your name in the layer of dust on the furniture and their is a small dog’s worth of dog hair lurking under the sofa.

7) Heaven forbid if your equine prince or princess not have their saddle pads and polo wraps washed after one use.  You use the “sniff test” to determine if you can squeeze another day out of your t-shirt and jeans.

8) There are more expenditures for horse-related activities in your checkbook than any other category.  As such, your horse’s budget is larger than that for your mortgage, car and food.

9) Weekends are planned around your horse shows.  Weekdays are planned around riding, vet appointments, feed store, and trips to the tack store.

10) The number of bookmarks for horse-themed websites and tack stores is far greater than all other bookmarks combined.

11) You can quote every horse show within a 50 mile radius over the next 6 months.

12) You have a credit card that is maintained just for emergency vet bills.

13) The hair care products used for your horse’s mane, tail, and coat are top of the line.  You purchase store brands.

14) The interior of your car is tan to better hide the barn dirt.  The upholstery smells of lederbalsam, horse sweat, and hay.  The smell is permanent.

15) The vet, farrier, and trainer are all on speed dial on your phone.  They are the only numbers committed to memory.

16) It is your birthday, but your horse gets more gifts than you do.  The same is true for Christmas.

17) Most of the artwork in your home includes a horse.

18) There are more photos of your horse(s) on the laptop than of any other occasion.

19) Horse show ribbons are an acceptable alternative to curtains or wall decorations.

20) You realize that all 19 things on this list are true, but you wouldn’t trade your horse or the lifestyle for anything.

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