There are tears in my eyes as I write this post. My grandmother has had a couple of difficult weeks, and we just received the news this morning that she passed away peacefully in her sleep last night. I am heartbroken. She was an amazing lady who almost made it to her 91st birthday. Earlier this year she moved from the home where she had lived for the past 70 years, 60 of them with my grandfather who built the home. She was a strong woman with strong opinions. I can only hope to be half the person that she was.
She was my one of my biggest fans and always enjoyed hearing of my equine adventures. I would send her DVDs of my rides so she could see us in action. I recently came across a photo of Ike, myself and my husband that was taken by a friend and sent it to my grandmother to let her know I was thinking of her. My mother told me that it brought great joy to my grandmother in her final days.
My animals have brought and will bring me great comfort as I deal with my grief. The dogs and the horses each have their own way of putting a smile back on my face. The dogs lick my tears from my cheeks and curl up with me on the bed. The horses softly nicker and nudge me with their noses. I stroke their necks and ears and share my memories.
I wrote the following a few weeks ago when I was feeling down about her failing health. I am no Maya Angelou or Emily Dickenson, but it is written from the heart and dedicated to the memory of my Grandmother.
Gallop Away the Tears
I want to gallop away the tears
They just don’t seem to stop.
My heart is breaking and the tears are streaming
Drip, drop, drip, drop.
I escape to the barn
And there I privately cry;
The neck of my trusted steed is wet
As I tell him how hard it was to say goodbye.
He must sense my sorrow
For the only sound one hears,
As I methodically move the brush
Is the falling of the never ending tears.
I want the move with the wind
Hooves pounding the ground below
And gallop away the tears
That flow and flow and flow.
The shared moments and happy times
Are kept in my memory to stay.
I will keep you in my heart always,
It will get easier with each passing day.